Freedom from fear, ditching the career.

I spent more than 20 years as some sort of middle manager. In every case I was a bit of an accident that I arrived in the role and in every case I was trying to extend my influence in a messianic desire to see things done in what I believed was ‘the right way’; to be educationally more effective and socially to promote equality. I think I did more good than harm, enjoyed the majority of the work and am confident that there are teachers and pupils who would testify to my role in their development (probably outnumbering those who would eagerly condemn it). Although I spent the majority of my time and intellectual effort dedicated to the managerial role and my teaching suffered in consequence a colleague pointed out that the vast proportion of my pay was for teaching and a wise Head used to call management allowances “poorly paid overtime”.

The rise of micro-managerialism destroyed any satisfaction in these roles, made me Ill, bitter and finally grateful to  refuse to reapply following re-organisation. I returned to focus on the classroom and the joy of teaching. This was almost also stolen by the tyranny of accountancy led administration which has replaced intelligent management throughout much of the school system from top to bottom (in that order). My school floundered in R.I. then S.M. The response of leaders egged on by the cold dead hand of OFSTED was more and ever more of that measuring: more observations with grades, secret grades ( we were told grades were finished then one day told that 60% of lessons were good or better!) and no grades, more ‘work scrutiny’ (usually mere  marking checks), more policies with ‘CPD’ to explain them, more data with more ‘managers’ to monitor it, more secrecy, more paranoia. But then peace. Why did I care about failure to meet a target, especially those’ Aspirational’ ones? What was my need for approval about? I had no career. I had given it up. I did have the experience and intelligence to know what was right. I could tell if I was providing a good service, I have tried to be a better teacher each year since I started: I think I am a good one, overall. My conscience could be my guide because I no longer have to impress anyone.

The freedom increases as retirement draws near. Although I loathe conflict and hate disapproval I can tolerate it a little more now that I know that I could leave if I had to. I genuinely have little or no interest in what observers have to say about my work save for colleagues with whom I work closely and respect to varying degrees. I take notice of pupils and parents, guard my reputation for effective teaching and discipline, do my very best every day and measure myself minute by minute with my conscience: each day I must give more than full value for money. And the managerial nonsense? Mostly I do as I am told, support my colleagues and managers but when it gets too silly I just stop. I still mark in red, still ‘talk too much’, still work in shirtsleeves, still shout (rarely), still seat alphabetically boy/girl to start with and rarely differentiate by task. My teaching is personalised because I know well each of my pupils and try to tune their overall experience of my lessons to their individual needs, but I don’t explicitly plan that it is just a part of my internal monitoring of learning quality that guides me minute by minute. I enjoy my work more now than for many years. Still frustrated by lazy or damaged pupils, still infuriated by idiotic managerial decisions. Still convinced that locally accountable, state comprehensive schools can be a great thing. I get very tired now and can feel the end approaching but also feel more skilled, able and comfortable in my teaching ‘skin’. Would I apply to do the work again? Honestly no given what I know, would I persist for more than 30 years again, another no and that is why retention will be such a problem in the next few years.

For my mid-career colleagues: try to teach as if you were old, had no career to nurture and could retire next term. You will enjoy it more, stress less and listen to your own hard-won experience.

You are doing a great job.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Freedom from fear, ditching the career.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s